A note from the editor: If you’ve ever been asked “What do you do?” and immediately regretted your answer, this one’s for you. Talking about your work should be straightforward, but most coaches struggle with it more than they expect. This piece by Jen Gould breaks down why that happens and gives you a practical way to fix it.
I remember running into a neighbor at the grocery store. We started chatting in the pasta aisle, asking about each other’s lives, and everything felt very natural. Until she asked the question, “So—what are you doing now?”
I was so excited. Here was my opportunity to share what I do. It was a lay-up. As I heard myself answer, I realized it was a train-wreck of a response. I started explaining, then added more, and then tried to make it clearer by saying even more. The more I said, the more confusing I was becoming. When we parted ways, I felt embarrassed.
Two weeks later, it happened again. This time at a dinner. Same question. “What do you do?” This time, I said confidently, “I’m a life coach.” That response was followed by an uncomfortable silence, and the conversation fizzled. No follow-up questions. I realized that all I had done was share my title and not how I actually help my clients.
That was the moment I knew: I had to figure this out.
I had decades of experience in high-stakes public relations publicizing Grammy-award winning artists, peak performance and executive coaches, best-selling authors, and real estate moguls. I had spent years helping others clarify their message and get seen. My career in the music industry taught me that talent alone never guarantees success. In fact, we had a “CD closet” filled with shelves of incredibly gifted artists’ albums that never found the light of day. And not because the music wasn’t amazing. But because in a competitive industry, the artists who broke through were the ones who got seen. Visibility made the difference.
Despite that knowledge, when it came to putting my own work into words, as a certified life coach helping coaches get visible and communicate their message, I struggled just like everyone else. I was unsure how to package it in a way that was clear and compelling.
Without a clear vision and clear language, even the most capable, experienced person can struggle to convey what they do.
Why So Many Life Coaches Struggle to Explain What They Do
If you’ve ever been asked, “What do you do?” and found yourself rambling or at a loss for words, you’re not alone. This is one of the most common challenges I help life coaches overcome, especially in their early years or during an evolution in their business.
Perhaps you recognize it’s taking too long to get to the point. You over-explain, hoping it will make things clearer. Or you’re overly vague and, by the end, the person you’re speaking to leaves confused.
Maybe you go in the opposite direction. You share your title, but not who you help or how you help them. You say something that sounds nice but is unclear, like, “I help people live their best lives.” Well-intentioned, but not enough information for someone to understand what you actually do.
If your audience has to work hard to figure this out, it’s unlikely they’re going to be comfortable hiring or referring you.
That’s why messaging clarity is the foundation of everything.
What I didn’t fully appreciate until I was on the other side of it was how different and difficult it can be to promote your own work. Because when it’s your work, sometimes you’re so close to it that the clarity starts to break down.
I see this pattern show up with new clients as they begin to step into greater visibility. When I ask them, “What do you do?” they start talking — and then eventually stop themselves: “That didn’t come out right.” Or: “I can’t believe I still don’t know how to say this.”
These are incredibly smart, talented, deeply caring coaches doing meaningful work and getting real results for their clients. The missing piece isn’t ability or commitment. It’s structure. Once they have a clear framework for talking about what they do, their business starts moving forward and thriving.
Fear of Visibility Isn’t Always About Confidence
Fear of visibility is often thought of as a confidence problem. But more often it’s a clarity issue. When we don’t know how to say what we do clearly and succinctly, we stay stuck. We’re less likely to show up. To comment. To put ourselves in rooms or pitch ourselves for opportunities.
I’ve been there. Even when I knew I needed to be more visible. To put myself out there. Even posting online felt hard. “What am I supposed to say?” “What do I even do?” At first, I could only post other people’s quotes.
When messaging lacks structure, visibility feels intimidating. You second-guess yourself. You overthink your content. You hesitate or ramble in conversations. But when your message is clear, confidence shows up. Fear fades. Visibility feels safer.
I watched this happen for a client. She’s a talented coach with years of experience and results. She knew her work was good. But fear of visibility kept her stuck. She would shrink in conversations, stay quiet in rooms where she should have been sharing, and avoid talking about her work altogether.
Part of that fear was rooted in not knowing how to claim the client she truly wanted: a driven, successful female entrepreneur who had achieved a lot but felt guilty for wanting more. Naming her felt too bold.
When she finally gave herself permission to own it, and found language that felt true, she got booked on podcasts, stepped into her power, and started attracting exactly the right clients. Nothing about her coaching had changed. Only her clarity had.
When you know what to say and how to say it, you transform from being a best-kept secret to being in demand.
The Message Clarity Blueprint: A 4-Part Framework
If you want to communicate what you do in a way that feels authentic, clear, and effective, your message needs structure. Like my experience in the pasta aisle, leaving it to chance and trying to speak off the cuff usually doesn’t work in your favor.
Now let’s look at a process to help you come across as clear, compelling, and as an authority:
1. Who You Help
Be specific. Not just “people” or “women” or “entrepreneurs.” What stage of life or business are they in? Think of their age or gender. Consider their income range or relationship status. The more vividly you can picture them, the more specific you are, the more your message will resonate.
The weight loss coach who says “I work with women over 50 who are tired of yo-yo dieting and want to lose weight for the last time” will attract that woman far more powerfully than the coach who says “I help people lose weight.” Specificity is not a limitation. It’s a magnet.
Many coaches find it helpful to give their ideal client a name.
2. The Problem You Solve
What is the real problem your ideal client is trying to solve? Think of the actual daily challenges that frustrate them. What feels hard, confusing, or stuck? What keeps them up at night or wakes them up at 3 AM with stress and worry? If they could wave a magic wand to make something go away or change, what would it be?
When you name the problem clearly, people feel seen. And when they feel seen, they know you understand and can help them.
3. The Transformation You Guide
What changes for your client as a result of working with you? What do they now have, feel, or experience after working with you that they didn’t have before? The transformation is the before-and-after. It’s the result your client is really looking for.
Remember: People hire a coach for the outcome, not for the process. Lead with the transformation, and the right people will lean in.
For example:
- From “yo-yo dieting and frustration” to “losing weight for the last time”
- From “burnout and overwhelm” to “restored energy and inner peace”
- From “not knowing how to communicate what they do” to “speaking about their work clearly and confidently”
4. Your 3 Key Messages
“What do I want to be known for?” This is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself. While this can evolve over time, in a crowded space, clarity creates authority.
To stand out, be remembered, and become the go-to person in your field, choose three key messages and talk about them consistently. Weave at least one of them into every conversation. The repetition will focus your audience — from prospective clients, to media and podcast hosts, speaking engagements, collaborations, and more.
To make this easier: If you were invited to speak on a podcast tomorrow, what would you want the audience to remember you for? Not your full body of work. Just two or three key messages. That’s your starting point. Those become your signature messaging pillars. They show up in conversations, in your content, in workshops and networking groups, in podcasts, and on stages. This is how people start to associate you with a specific transformation.
How do you choose your 3 key messages? Ask yourself:
- “What problems do I solve repeatedly?” Look at your clients. What do they consistently come to you for?
- “What topic could I speak about all day without getting bored?”
- “What results do I help people create?”
Your authority comes from owning what makes you different. That’s your core differentiator. That’s where your messaging sharpens, and your confidence grows. That’s when people start to remember you.
Why Simplicity Builds Trust
One of the biggest mistakes I see is trying to sound impressive by using overly complex language, industry jargon, or speaking in terms that are far too broad. It creates inauthentic messaging. As Donald Miller says, “if you confuse, you lose.”
Clear, heartfelt language builds connection. It also increases your authority and credibility. When people understand you, they trust you. And when they trust you, they’re more likely to work with you, talk about you, and refer you.
A Simple Exercise: Create Your Message Toolkit
To put this into practice, here’s a simple way to apply The Message Clarity Blueprint right now.
Start by writing:
I help… (Who you help)
Who struggle with… (The problem you solve)
So they can… (The result or transformation)
Next, define your three key messages. These should be the areas you feel most comfortable speaking about and what you want to be known for. These are the key messages you come back to again and again.
When you create structure and certainty around who you help, the problem you solve, the transformation you guide, and what you want to be known for, everything becomes clearer. And that changes how you show up. Your confidence surges, your fear fades, and your business grows. Best of all, visibility stops feeling like self-promotion and starts feeling like service.
Jen Gould
Jen Gould is a certified Life Coach and Podcast & Visibility Coach who helps coaches clearly articulate what they do so they can confidently show up, get booked on podcasts, and attract more clients. With over 20 years of experience as a New York City PR executive, she has worked with iconic talent including Aretha Franklin, Annie Lennox, and Coldplay, and has coached for Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi’s Mastermind programs. Jen blends mindset coaching with proven PR strategies to help clients develop a clear, compelling message that expands their audience and grows their brand.
Grab her free Podcast One-Sheet Template + Video: jengouldcoaching.com/free-one-sheet/
Really well done. Expertly explained in a step by step guide.
This was so helpful. Thank you for bringing more clarity to what we do as a coach.